the last night...

If it were my last night on earth, i would definitely want to be with all my friends. Have a huge party. Do a lot of stupid things i've never done. If i could be anywhere, i'd want to be in California. Sleep on the beach, under the stars. Have a big bonfire, awesome music, crazy lights. I'd wanna go boating, cause i've never been. Ride in a limo. Go parasailing. Kiss in the rain. Go on tower of terror. Jump in the ocean with all my clothes on. Eat pancakes at four in the morning, cause i love doing that. Have a whipped cream fight with cans of reddi-whip, cause i've always thought that would be super awesome.

fears and death and happy stuff like that

• i'm afraid of thai food
• i'm afraid of creepy shoes
• i'm afraid of fur on clothes
• i'm afraid of getting up any earlier than 7:00
• i'm afraid of mcdonalds burgers and fries
• i'm afraid of being swallowed by big, bulky jackets
• i'm afraid of getting stuck in utah for the rest of my life
• i'm afraid of egg nog mac & cheese
• i'm afraid of smudged ink
• i'm afraid of winter
• i am deathly afraid of all bugs. however, i do not fear death
• i'm afraid of going unnoticed
• i'm afraid of getting noticed
• i'm afraid of going nowhere
• i am afraid of fitting in
• i am afraid of standing out
• i'm afraid of knowing
• i'm afraid of not knowing 
• i'm afraid of creepy old guys
• i'm afraid of grasshoppers... 

"i've got some issues that nobody can see, and all of these emotions are pouring out of me" -kid cudi

Snow covered dreams...

I walk alone. I walk alone. It's snowing. It's the middle of the winter, and as i try to walk down this road, i'm slipping all over the place. I hate ice. I hate snow. I hate being cold. I keep walking, and i see a couple of broken guitars. I pass my old dance teachers, piano teachers, voice teachers. They look right through me. I walk alone.

I walk alone. I walk alone. I pass by old friends, but they don't see me either. There's snow covered trash everywhere. Snow covered broken down cars. My old guitar teachers are siting in a circle, smoking a joint. Broken windows, peeling paint, covered in snow. My old house. I walk past my old apartment complex, all run down. Completely silent. I think the snow makes it seem quieter. So many people i used to know, but no one sees me. Why?

I walk alone. I walk alone. I see cactus, covered in snow. What an odd picture. Two opposites. I see my old dance studios from Arizona, in desperate need of repairs. There's still dancers inside, but it seems like they're dancing in slow motion, stuck there, but still moving. I walk alone. I walk alone.

thoughts

What am I thinking about right now? I'm thinking about you.

I'm thinking about you like surfers think of the ocean
Like the ocean thinks about the moon
Like boats think of waves
Like I think of going back to California

I'm thinking about you,
Like Ariel thinks about living on land
Like toes think about sand
Like they think of holding hands

Like fish think of swimming
Like feet think about running
Like babies think about walking
Like creepers think about stalking

I'm thinking about you,
Like stomachs think about food
Like she thinks about that one dude
Like music thinks about the mood

Like guitars think about strumming
Like mouths think of humming
Like iPods think of singing

What are you thinking about?

Love is...

"What is love?? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more"

Love is so many different things. There's the way you love your mom. The way you love music. The way you love cafe rio. The way you love sleep. The way you love pop rocks. But what is it?? Who knows, but here's some things that might help with that question.

Love is laying out in the summer rain at four in the morning with a bunch of friends, after a long crazy night.
Love is a crazy roller coaster,  especially if you hate roller coasters.
Love is that awesome song that's stuck in your head for a week straight after you hear it.
Love is driving a car fast, and not realizing there are no brakes till you're already over 100.
Love is a tidal wave, taller than everything, that crashes against anything in the way.
Love is a bright blue dragonfly, beautiful but hard to catch.
Love is riding along the coast of the beach on a long board, on a perfect summer day.
Love is speakers turned up as high as they go, so that it blocks everything else out.
Love is finding your missing puzzle piece (not literally, unless you really like puzzles, then sure...)
Love is that first bite of pizza.
Love is not letting what other people might think influence your decisions.
Love is finally getting that ticket to the upcoming concert you're dying to go to.

intro

How are you supposed to start an intro? The beginning of the beginning. The start of it all. Who knows. So, i'll just say hi. You don't know who I am, and I don't know who you are, but that's okay. I think that using blogs is a really cool idea, cuz, like nelson said, you get to be anonymous, and say whatever you want. Very freeing.